Kianne's Journal - Archive

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[8/6/2004]

A pounding the door woke us in the middle of the night. Well, more to the point, it woke Andrella, who immediately dragged me out of bed. Our visitor was Jaana. I frowned and rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up.

Jaana spoke in a rapid, breathless pace. "Shamino has sent me to get you. He is gravely wounded and he will not make it through the night. He was in no condition to wield a glass blade. His body, including his heart, is aged beyond his years. Even though in his mind he felt he was still the strapping young ranger of days long past. You see, when the glass sword shattered, the slivers cut deep into his body, attacking internal organs. Shamino's wound cannot be healed by magic or any other means. He is quickly fading."

Neither of us said anything, staring at Jaana as if this was some sort of horribly bad dream.

"But for now he is conscious and aware of his fate," she finished sadly. "He wishes to see you both for a final farewell. The King, Nystul, and Dupré have also been summoned to see him. Let us go with no regrets, and see that Shamino rests in peace."

My brain refused to latch onto this. I looked at Andrella, and she seemed to be having the same problem. Shamino couldn't die! Not Shamino!

I was released suddenly and agony drove me forward; I ran out of the Keep without even checking to see if Andrella and Jaana were following me. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I formed a moongate with the Orb and leaped through, then raced to Jaana's healer building at a dead run.

"Shamino!" I cried as I burst into the room. One other healer was nearby, but he quietly moved out of the way to give us our privacy. Andrella followed me, having jumped through the moongate behind me; in retrospect, I assume Jaana went on to the castle to deliver her message there, although at the time, I wasn't paying attention to her whereabouts.

Shamino was sitting propped up in the bed against several fluffy pillows. His chest was tightly bound, but his breathing was labored. Nevertheless, he managed a determined smile as I fell to my knees by his bed.

"You can't die!" I cried before he could speak, blinking back tears. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"Kianne, Andrella," he greeted us with amazing calm. Andrella stood on the other side of his bed, watching him silently. It seemed she didn't know what to say.

"Please, have no regrets," Shamino urged in a quiet voice. "I am glad I was able to aid you."

"It's not fair," I protested. "Why can't I give you some of my years? I have plenty!"

He chuckled weakly. "I know, Kianne. You would do anything."

Jaana had come in quietly at some point; I didn't notice when, but Andrella turned and asked her softly, "Jaana, is there nothing we can do?"

Jaana just shook her head solemnly.

"Shamino..." I moaned, tears falling freely down my face by now.

"Do not blame yourself," he urged, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Please. Save your tears."

"I'd try the stone of Compassion, but you can't afford to lose any more years," I sniffed.

"Do not fret," he urged. "I have had my time, and I do not fear. You have much ahead of you. Stay strong."

"But..."

"No." Shamino smiled softly. "Just tell me you will protect the lands."

That required no hesitation. "Of course we will!" He continued smiling, and I dropped my head. "And thank you so much for all of your help..." I tried to add, but my voice was breaking up toward the end.

"And please, don't regret," Shamino urged.

I gave a helpless sigh. "I just... you're before your time..." And all of this was because we hadn't used a glass sword on Maharba ourselves, saving him the trouble--how could I not feel bad about it? But I couldn't seem to say the words out loud.

Lord British and Dupré rushed in, and I blinked tears out of my eyes and quickly shoved myself to my feet, backing away from the bed to give them both room.

Lord British stood beside his bed. "Shamino..."

"My...lord..." Shamino responded with a weak smile, and I wasn't sure if the hesitation was because he was having difficulty breathing, or if it was for another reason...

Lord British kneeled before him. There seemed to be some sort of silent conversation going on between the two of them. I wiped my eyes with a glove, trying to stop sniffing. Andrella took off her hat and held it to her chest.

"I know," Shamino said finally, as if reading someone's mind. "If there is anything you could do, you would."

Lord British got to his feet and stepped back, giving Dupré room to give his regards. Andrella put a gentle hand on my shoulder comfortingly as we stood and watched.

"You were always a most treasured companion..." I murmured.

Lord British grasped Shamino's hand. "You will always be remembered."

"Thank you," Shamino whispered.

I had nothing left to say. "I'm sorry, Shamino..."

"I am glad I got to see you all... one.. last.. time," Shamino murmured. "I will miss you..."

"We'll miss you too," I returned immediately, fighting off the tears that were threatening to burst forth again. "Thank you..."

Shamino smiled faintly and gave a small sigh as his eyes closed.

For one horrible moment, my heart twisted as I thought he had died. But then I noticed that his chest was moving slightly, though haltingly. He was still breathing, albeit with difficulty. But it was something, at least.

The rest of us gathered in a loose circle on the other side of the room so that we wouldn't disturb his sleep.

"It's still not fair," I grumbled. "Iolo's older, and yet he is still going..."

Andrella followed my train of thought perfectly. "Would taking Shamino to Dawn help?" she suggested.

"Dawn..." Lord British murmured slowly, as if realization was awakening. "There you could invoke the greatest healing power of Compassion..."

I blinked, since I hadn't thought of that. Using the Stone of Compassion ages the target, but age has no effect in Dawn. But would the power of the stone be enough?

Andrella replaced her hat onto her head. She seemed decided, as was I, that any chance was better than no chance. "Shall I go speak with Erimani?"

Lord British nodded. "We would need his permission first."

"We'll go at once," I said instantly, including myself in with it.

Jaana shook her head, unsure.

I led the way around the healer building to a secluded location where no one would see me form a moongate to Dawn. Andrella and I jumped through and ended up near Iolo's hut as usual.

There was no sign of Iolo or Gwenno. We glanced around. The sky was always perpetual here, but it seemed darker than usual.

"Is it nighttime?" I asked. "Are we going to have to wake Erimani?"

"I guess so," Andrella responded, leading the way to Erimani's building. She stopped to the side of the door and knocked. Rather to my surprise, both Erimani and Anniosha appeared to have been already awake.

Erimani answered her knock and invited us into the room. Anniosha was already sitting on her throne, but as usual, she remained quiet.

"We apologize for disturbing you," Andrella began as we entered. Erimani merely nodded.

I took up the story. "We have a friend who is deathly wounded. We were wondering if we could bring him here, to help keep him from aging when we try to heal him..."

"He's a good friend of Iolo's as well," Andrella contributed.

And then my brain kicked in and I remembered that Shamino had visited Dawn before. "It's Shamino. He was here before."

Erimani looked at his wife, and the two seemed to be exchanging words telepathically. She nodded, and finally Erimani commented slowly, "Shamino. He was a companion to the Avatar, Michael." I nodded my head, and he continued, "His deeds saved the lands many times."

"I don't know if we can save him," I told him solemnly, "but we have to try."

"What is wrong with him then?"

"A piece of a glass sword has lodged into him," Andrella supplied.

"And it seems his body has aged too much," I agreed. "Our healers can't do anything for him."

Erimani nodded in understanding. "And what will come of it, if he was here?"

"I am going to try the Stone of Compassion," I explained to him. "It is the most powerful healing magic I can think of to use..."

"Invoked Compassion...to heal a mortal wound?" Erimani asked slowly, and we nodded.

I added, "Or perhaps even Sacrifice, although I'm not sure that will help him in his state..."

Erimani spent some minutes silently conversing with his wife. Finally he turned back to face us and put his hands behind his back. "I do not think it would be wise to bring him here," he told us finally. "His spirit cannot rest here. If a human passes in our forest, his spirit would haunt us eternally and never find peace."

I felt my heart take a plunge, but Andrella refused to just give in without an argument. "We are hoping to heal him, not let him die," she stated pointedly. "The only way to stop him from dying is Compassion, and we can't use that any other place than here or it makes the body age."

"I understand, yet if it is a mortal wound, he may well pass." Erimani sighed and shook his head, raising a hand to forestall any more of our objections. "But... I will not deny you the chance to try, as you are the wielders of the moonblades. But I do not condone this action."

It wasn't the best response we could have received, but I was thankful that he would at least give us a chance. But before I could speak, Anniosha reached up and tugged at Erimani's cloak, as if trying to get his attention. I was a little surprised that she didn't stand up or speak out loud. I decided it must be some sort of elven custom that I was unaware of.

Erimani listened to his wife's silent words, then shook his head in disagreement. Andrella and I watched curiously, not saying anything.

Finally Erimani turned back to us. "Well then, you may bring your friend here if it is your wish. But he cannot stay, should the invoked Compassion not help him."

We nodded. "We understand. Thank you. We will make doubly sure we don't fail."

Anniosha shook her head sadly.

Erimani seemed to be making a conscious effort to disregard her. "Bring him here," he instructed us. "Do not wake another." We agreed and hurried out of the building to go fetch Shamino.

When we reentered the healer's building, I threw a quick glance at Shamino, who seemed to still be sleeping. Lord British and Dupré were still there.

"Erimani says we may do it," I said to them in a soft voice so that I wouldn't wake Shamino. "But he can't die in Dawn...so if this fails, we'll have to bring him back..."

It wasn't exactly the best way to phrase the explanation, but Lord British seemed to get what I was trying to say. "I understand. Lord Erimani has never accepted a wounded human."

"But we won't fail," I finished with grim determination.

He agreed. "It must work."

Jaana watched nervously as Andrella moved over to gently lift Shamino into her arms. "Be careful."

I smiled at the druid. "We will. Thanks, Jaana."

I held the door for Andrella as she carried Shamino out of the building. The ranger was still breathing, but he didn't wake up, even when he was moved around. It wasn't a very good sign, but I didn't take the time to think about it.

The return trip to Dawn was made in silence. Erimani had prepared a chair for us, and he helped Andrella to carefully seat Shamino in it. Then the elven lord removed Shamino's shirt so that he could take a look at the wound. He examined it and shook his head.

I was holding the Stone of Compassion cupped in my hands, clasped to my chest just under my chin. "This has to work," I murmured. "I don't know what else to do..."

Anniosha stood and walked over to look at Shamino, then she shook her head and returned to her chair. Erimani seated himself at about the same moment, and waited.

I poured all of my heart into activating the Stone of Compassion, watching my bow turn yellow. I took a deep breath to ready myself, then finally raised the bow and drew back the string, taking aim.

I fired one arrow, then two and three, then more, over and over again. The healing magic washed over him, but he remained still.

Finally I stopped, breathing heavily. "Is it...helping?"

"Keep trying," Andrella urged encouragingly.

Iolo burst into the building at that moment. I spun around in surprise. "Iolo!"

"What happened?" Iolo gasped. "Shamino?" he added, but still the ranger did not stir.

I lowered my bow, looking at Shamino's still form with sadness. "It...was a glass sword... He killed Maharba..."

"Maharba..." Erimani repeated slowly, then suddenly rose to his feet. "He slayed the inverted body of Abraham?" And I realized abruptly that we had forgotten to mention this little detail.

I nodded my head, tears coming unbidden to my eyes again. "We think so. If his human body is slain, can he return?" It was a concern that had floated around in my head, but I hadn't really had time to focus on it until now.

"If he was indeed slain, then Abraham is finished," Erimani confirmed, and I gave a sigh of relief.

"Shamino...came and took him out with a glass sword..." I explained haltingly, my throat tight with tears.

Erimani and his wife knelt before the still form of Shamino. "A noble deed. A noble deed that will be remembered forever."

I nodded, but my bow slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor. "But Compassion isn't enough," I protested, pressing my eyes closed in despair and wrapping my arms around myself. After a moment I forced myself to get a grip, refusing to give up. "Maybe Sacrifice...?" I suggested, already reaching for my pouch.

"I am sorry for your loss, but please understand," Erimani begged us. "He cannot fall here..."

"There must be something we can do!" Andrella let out.

Anniosha tugged at Erimani's cloak again. But he didn't seem to wait for any mental words. He simply shook his head again, showing disagreement.

I blinked as it suddenly dawned on me that maybe she had an idea. Andrella caught it as well, and beat me in speaking up. "May I ask...what she is saying?"

"It is nothing," Erimani returned dismissively.

But Andrella wasn't about to drop it. "If she has an idea, we would like to hear it."

Erimani shook his head. "Please, I am sorry, there is nothing we can do..."

Andrella overrode him impatiently, not letting him finish. "If you are worried about something, you should know that we will do what we can to help you." When he still didn't respond, she added, "We aren't here to be disrespectful, Erimani, but you aren't helping."

Iolo just stood there and stared in stunned surprise at how she was speaking to the lord of the elves. I wasn't quite as shocked, but I was a bit surprised.

"I can do nothing..." Erimani began.

"But can we do something?" I persisted.

"Please, Lord Erimani," Iolo urged suddenly. "Let her try..."

Erimani sent a firm glare at Iolo, and I threw him a look of surprise. Did Iolo know what Anniosha was proposing?

"You know it is not possible," Erimani said finally. "Please, Iolo, stay your place."

"But Lord Erimani... Kianne is an Elementalist."

Andrella and I turned and looked at Iolo in shock. Why was he bringing that up now?

"Iolo..." I started, as the elves shot the bard a glare. "But...why would that help? I don't have any magic. I don't even have a Light Materia..." And I wasn't even sure such a thing existed.

Iolo didn't seem to hear me. "It's true," he repeated. "Kianne is."

Erimani turned his gaze to me, looking me over with a doubtful expression. I hesitated, not sure what to say. "Can...the Elements help?" I asked finally.

Anniosha pleaded with her eyes, and again I found myself wondering if there was some custom that was preventing her from speaking her thoughts out loud. Erimani let out a gusty sigh. "It appears I am not the one making decisions here," he murmured finally, glancing between Iolo and Anniosha. Finally he took a breath. "So be it. At the word of Anniosha and Iolo, I will permit you entrance to the Shrine of Elements."

I blinked. "Shrine...?"

"There you may ask for blessings from the mother of light," Erimani finished. He shot me a warning gaze. "Yet still she may not be able to help."

I nodded. "I understand," I said solemnly, but inside, my heart soared. Another chance!

Erimani mused thoughtfully, as if to himself, "The Shrine of Elements... The holiest place, built by elves. To this day, Iolo and Gwenno are the only humans ever to see its majesty."

I glanced at Iolo; that must be why he'd known to suggest it.

"I will let you go," Erimani finished suddenly. "But do not expect a solution. There are times when even Pearl cannot aid us."

I didn't focus on the name then, but I did later. "I understand," I said. "But if there is anything I can do, I would never forgive myself if I didn't try."

Andrella nodded in agreement.

Erimani turned. "Iolo, you may guide them." He seemed to be washing his hands of this entire situation. But I didn't protest.

"Thank you," I said to him, making a bow before quickly turning to follow Iolo.

Erimani didn't respond.

Iolo led us through the woods at an impressive run, given his age. Finally he slowed down near some mountains. A river was flowing down the cliffs and through the forest. I felt like I vaguely recognized the location, but I didn't focus on it.

"It's behind the falls," Iolo said to us, and we nodded. But before we moved on, he added, "One note. The elves have built a pit of fire in the center of the shrine. One must sacrifice personal wealth in order to gain the favor of the Elements."

"Will gold do?" I asked, since I wasn't sure what else to offer.

Iolo nodded. "They say it is material that makes our link weak to the Elements," he explained.

"Material," I repeated. Like the name Materia. "Interesting..."

Iolo turned. "Well, I hope this works..."

He led the way into the cave entrance that was hidden behind the waterfall. Inside the cavern was a structure built out of white marble. Vines were clinging to the outside of the building, thriving despite the discrepancy that they probably never receive any sunlight here. Sparkling blue water poured in artificial waterfalls down the sides of the building and gathered into marble-lined pools.

"Beautiful," I murmured.

Iolo stopped at the doorway into the building. "Kianne," he said to me. "The mother of light... They call her Pearl. They call the Elements by names."

Pearl. I'd heard people call the Element of Light that. But I suspected that here they were doing more than just referring to a class of magic...

"Flame, Breeze, Stone... I don't remember all their names," Iolo told me. "But Pearl is said to be the most powerful, so if anyone can heal Shamino, she can."

I nodded in understanding. "It would be. Of Light is the highest power..."

"Of course you know. Why am I telling you?" Iolo laughed.

I smiled. "It is fine. I don't mind hearing it again."

The bard gestured at the marble building. "Place the gold in the fire, then mediate to the Elements. I'll wait outside. Good luck."

"Thanks," I said. "I haven't tried this before, but let's give it a go."

Together, Andrella and I entered the building. The inside was even more stunning than without. Seven clusters of glowing crystals lined the walls, three on one side, three on another, and one directly before us. They sparkled and pulsed in the colors of the Elements. Rather appropriately, I think, the white crystal of Light was directly across from us, on the other side of the fire pit.

And that's what it was; directly in the center of the room burned a pit of molten fire. Andrella and I fetched our gold from our bank boxes and poured half the contents into the fire. I watched as the golden coins sparkled as they disappeared into the bright orange-red heat.

Straightening up, I tried to meditate as Iolo had said. There was no mantra here, and I wasn't quite sure what to do. I found myself reflecting again on the similarities, in structure, the Virtues have with the Elements. The same color circle, the same properties...

Standing there, I felt a great sense of peace, and the pain of the past days faded away. After a while I became aware of a soft glow in front of me, and I blinked open my eyes.

A shimmering ball of dazzling white light hung in the air right above the crystal of Light in front of us. This must be Pearl, I thought as the light spun in little circles around us. Finally, a soft voice resounded from the glow. "Come."

We came around the fire pit and approached the white crystal. Pearl seemed to be considering us some more. Then she said suddenly, "Kianne Cassidy...can it be?"

I was taken aback; so surprised, in fact, that I couldn't manage a response. Why would they know my name here?

Before I could say anything, Pearl went on, "Who is this with you?"

That, at least, was easy enough to find an answer to. "This is my companion, Andrella Valence," I explained.

"Andrella Valence, the star mage." The light twinkled merrily. "Oh, the threads of fate have been twisted, have they not?" While I stared in surprise, Pearl giggled. "You are brave to face the perils of the Shadowland."

"We...have come to ask for your aid..." I began slowly, but I felt like a fish out of water.

"Kianne Cassidy, asking for aid?"

I was becoming more baffled by the moment, but I struggled to explain, "Our friend is mortally wounded. We can't do anything for him..."

"Can you not heal him?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Healing isn't working. And he's aged prematurely..."

"Ahhh," the ball of light breathed as if in sudden understanding. "You lack your powers?"

I nodded.

"The Hell of the Shadowland has taken its hold," Pearl mused.

I blinked. Did she know something I didn't? "What do you mean?"

"The Niltab, do you not know?"

"We know of Niltab, but..." I broke off. "Has he something to do with my powers?"

"His twisted generator," Pearl explained. "Draining the powers of all the Elements. I thought you knew."

"The generator... But I haven't been able to..." I broke off to consider everything, my mind in a whirl.

Pearl took the opportunity to switch tracks slightly. "And Andrella Valence, why are you there?"

Andrella looked as confused as I felt. "Why am I where?"

"In the Shadowland, of course!" Pearl laughed with delight.

I hadn't thought that we may have left the Shadowland, but perhaps we had done so. Or maybe it was Pearl who was not really "here," but rather was communicating with us from afar. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I absently wondered if this was her true form, or if this sphere of light was merely her window of communication into this world.

Pearl continued to giggle, as if finding this vastly amusing. "You do not know either. The Time Lord must be weaving his mysterious threads yet again. How fitting."

I had a few other words I would have used than those, but I didn't speak them out loud. "You aren't talking about that spell she's supposed to cast, are you?" I grumbled.

For once, Pearl didn't seem to already know what I was talking about. "The spell? I do not know. But Andrella Valence. Niltab powers his generator with the tortured magics of your father. Alexander Valence."

Andrella blinked. "Wha...?"

"I had suspected you were there to save him," Pearl giggled.

"Are you saying my father is alive!?" Andrella gasped.

"Yes, I am. I am sorry."

"Is he at the generator?" I found myself asking. "We have to find it...!"

Andrella just looked flustered. "How...how could I have not known he was alive..?"

"I am surprised you are alive to be honest," Pearl admitted. "The D'raj hunted down all Star Mages for their powers."

"I left Valencia a long time ago," Andrella explained. "The D'raj didn't know I existed until recently."

"I see," Pearl said. "Be careful then. There are still two left."

"Two D'raj?"

"Aye, Alexander killed one of the three."

"What are these D'raj?" I asked. "Daemons?"

"Yes, they are," Pearl responded. "They serve VayViktus and his apprentice."

"Apprentice?" I echoed.

"Who is VayViktus?" Andrella wanted to know.

"VayViktus is the most powerful daemon lord in the universe," she said. "But there is another who may one day rival even VayViktus. And he is there."

"Is it Jarred?" Andrella asked.

"No, the D'raj are only servants."

Andrella seemed to have been anticipating that answer. "It's...Xavier, isn't it?"

"Xavier?" Pearl repeated without recognition. "I'm speaking of K'mosh. And he is there in the Shadowland."

"K'mosh... What Kilmas said..." I murmured.

"His powers are growing. We can feel it, even here."

"He's...here, already?" I asked slowly, deep in thought, remembering what Kilmas had told me earlier.

"Indeed. Have you not seen his powers?"

I had no idea. "The comet?" Andrella tried.

"I am not certain. But they call him K'mosh, meaning Son of the Kill. He has the power to slay armies of people with only a thought."

A chap who can point at you and say 'die' has the distinct advantage...

"And how does the Guardian factor into all of this, I wonder..." I murmured.

Pearl burst into a flurry of giggles. "You still call him that?"

For some reason, I felt indignant. "Well, he's never told us his name...!"

"He lies. He calls himself the Guardian to open people's souls," Pearl began to explain.

"Yes, we know that, but..." I interrupted.

But Pearl dropped the bombshell before I could finish. "He is VayViktus, meaning, Conquer the Suffering."

"What!?" I let out. "He's VayViktus!?"

"Yes, he is."

Andrella sighed.

I stood for a moment staring at the ball of light. Then suddenly I shook my head, realizing we'd just wandered off topic. And though I would have loved to have learned more, we were here for a reason. "But about Shamino..."

"Your friend?" she asked.

I nodded my head. "I don't know how much longer he has..."

The light pulsed. "Well, since you are the last of the Channelers, I can grant you some of my power if you'd like. Though I don't think it will last long with the generator there."

The word "Channeler" was on my lips, but before I could speak it, Andrella was saying, "I have one final question, if I may."

"A question?" Pearl asked.

"The comet," Andrella said. "It has Elemental colors. Do you know anything about it?"

"I am sorry. Yes, we know of it," Pearl responded. "It is meant to annihilate the Shadowland, and now we see why."

"It's from the generator, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes, and is meant to kill you, Kianne Cassidy."

"Who created it?" Andrella wanted to know.

"Me," I muttered.

"Kianne, you didn't create it," Andrella told me sternly.

"I did...in a way..."

Pearl put a halt to that little argument by clarifying, "Niltab and his generator created it, and yes, they used Kianne Cassidy's powers. The Pagan Lords have hunted you for a long time," she added to me.

This was a good chance to finally clear up something, I realized. "What did I do to annoy them so badly?"

"They slayed all the Channelers, the others like you," Pearl explained.

I blinked. "Other Elementalists?"

"Sort of, but unlike other Elementalists, you Channelers don't study your craft. You are simply able to absorb and use the powers of the Elements with ease."

I considered that silently. Pearl pulsed. "Did you not know?"

"Well... I worked with the Elements for a while, before I was able to use them without an energy source..." I murmured. "I was known as a blue mage... I could cast a spell after seeing it once..."

"We all knew after your battle with Rubicant," Pearl said. "Your true powers."

"Rubicant..." I repeated slowly.

"You absorbed the fire of his heart. It beats inside you, burning in your veins."

"I always knew there was something up with him," I muttered.

"Well, now you know," Pearl giggled cheerfully. Then she asked seriously, "Do you think you can hold the power of Light now? I mean, with the generator working?"

"I would do my best, but I can't say for sure," I responded. Then I blinked and glanced upward. "Although I don't feel the generator right now, come to think of it..." I suddenly realized how blessedly whole I felt, without that constant tugging drain weakening me all of the time.

"Shamino can't last until after we find the generator," Andrella pointed out.

Pearl considered that briefly. "Well, let's try it!" she said cheerfully, and I could almost picture the kind of grin that must be accompanying those words.

I smiled. "Thank you for your help. I--we--really appreciate it." I winked at Andrella.

"You are so humble," Pearl laughed for a reason I cannot fathom. "Well, hold out your hands!"

I did so, and waited with anticipation. Pearl pulsed for a few moments. "Hmm." And she giggled.

For some reason I didn't like the sound of that. "What is it?"

Pearl laughed. "I talked too much!"

"What?"

"The elven link is fading. There is not enough power in our link for me to transfer power."

She twinkled merrily, like it was hilarious, but I was feeling kind of frantic. "Can we increase it?"

"Sure!" Pearl responded. "The elves sacrifice material items. It powers our link."

I glanced guiltily at Andrella. "Do you have any gold left?"

She nodded and dug into her bag. "That's all," she said as she poured the rest of her gold into the fire.

Pearl pulsed. "There we go! Ready, Kianne Cassidy?"

I nodded. There was so much more that I wanted to ask her, but of course we didn't have the time. Still, as I held out my hands stretched toward her, I couldn't help but ask, "Pearl... Are you an Elemental?"

She laughed. "Of course I am!" But I had never encountered a Light Elemental before. Or one of Dark, for that matter, although I suppose certain of the undead may have qualified. But to be of Light...I was fascinated. I wished I could find out more, but concern for Shamino kept me from drawing out the conversation any further.

"Are you ready?" Pearl asked one more time.

"Aye. And thanks again."

"I hope this works, but remember, it won't last long!"

I barely had time to nod in acknowledgement. The chamber flared with an intense white light, so blinding I had to close my eyes. It was all I could do to prevent myself from reflexively retracting my hands to use them to cover my face.

And the level of the power that flowed into me was unlike anything I had experienced before. It was pure Light, with nothing to contaminate it, and yet everything all at once, encompassing all of the other Elements. I felt warm all over, and solid, and whole. There was no weakness.

When I finally opened my eyes, my hands were glowing with a bright white light, sparkles drifting downward like miniature shooting stars.

Pearl was gone. The link had been consumed transferring the power.

"Wow," Andrella breathed, looking at me. "We better get going!"

I nodded and ran with her out of the building. We called to Iolo that we had to hurry and dashed past him without slowing down. He gave us a startled look and hurried after us.

Without pausing for words, the three of us raced through the forest back to the Erimani's cabin. My hands were like the flaming tips of a sparkler, leaving trails of tiny white dots of light behind me as I passed. I pressed my hands into fists, as if I could grip the magic like a physical object. I had never "held" this much power focused in my hands before.

I burst into the cabin without waiting to knock. Erimani jumped to his feet in surprise, but I barely noticed him. I went immediately to Shamino, who looked as though he hadn't stirred since we'd left him. I placed both of my hands on him and closed my eyes, willing the energy into him.

I didn't focus on any particular spell. There was no finesse. I simply poured forth all of the magic that Pearl had given me, adding my own strength and will, anything that would help. The white light bathed Shamino and wrapped him like a blanket.

Finally the light faded, and I had nothing left to give. I stepped back dizzily, saved from falling over only by the quick action of Andrella, who positioned herself behind me and held me up. Iolo was there too. Everyone's eyes were on Shamino. Everyone except Erimani, who was looking at me.

"The powers of Pearl..." he murmured. "They were in your hands..."

I nodded weakly. "She gave us some of her power," I tried to explain.

Shamino blinked his eyes open slowly, glancing around. We were all watching him anxiously.

"Kianne...?" he queried unsteadily.

"How do you feel?" I asked, echoed by Iolo. Shamino looked down in surprise, then got slowly to his feet, brushing off our helping hands as if he didn't even notice them.

"I feel..." he said in a dazed voice, rubbing his side, "...no pain at all."

"Wow!" Andrella beamed. I felt a giddy sort of grin creeping across my face. Iolo gave his friend a solid pat on the back. I had to wipe away at more tears threatening to fall.

"You are quite the hero, Shamino," Andrella smiled.

Shamino looked up at us. "Kianne, Andrella! You did this?" he guessed. "But how? Jaana said..."

"Pearl, she is of the Element of Light," I tried to explain. "She loaned us some of her power. And thank you, Lord Erimani," I added, turning to look toward the elves. "And Lady Anniosha. Thank you so much."

Shamino looked as though he could barely believe it. "I am forever in your debt," he said, and to my surprise, he knelt before me.

"No," I told him instantly, reaching down to pull him to his feet. "We are repaying our debt to you. You saved us from Maharba. Not to mention so many other things."

Shamino stood up and smiled. "Then we are fair."

I smiled. "Aye."

"Kianne, I had no idea..." Erimani spoke up. "I am so sorry I hesitated."

I smiled at him. "I'm just glad it worked."

"If I would have known you were a Channeler..."

"Not your fault," I assured him. "I didn't even know the term for it, myself..."

Then I winced at a familiar flash of pain. Looks like the generator was back. I had almost forgotten what it was like to live without it.

"Oh my... You look ill." Erimani frowned in concern.

I nodded with a grimace. "It's that darn generator..."

"Are you going to be okay?"

I nodded. "When we get rid of it, I'll be okay."

"We need to get it stopped, and quick!" Andrella agreed.

"Well," Shamino spoke up with a slight smile. "I hope I can be of some aid to you again."

I nodded in agreement. "But no more glass swords," I teased him.

Shamino chuckled. "No more glass swords for this old ranger."

I gave a smile of relief. "I'm so glad you're all right..."

"You impress us more and more," Erimani chuckled slightly. His voice sounded somewhat rueful.

Andrella grinned at me. I gave Erimani a weak smile. "Thank you for giving us the chance. The shrine is beautiful."

"Aye, it is," Andrella agreed. "Stunning!"

"Visit it any time," Erimani invited us. "You both are always welcome."

I do believe I will be taking him up on that offer...as soon as we find more gold.

We returned to Cove first, of course, because that is where Lord British and the others were waiting for us. We had a joyful reunion, and for a while, all I could do was just stand there and smile happily.

"Thanks be to the Elements," Shamino smiled.

"To Pearl, specifically," I chuckled. I thought I was beginning to understand it. The Elements are nothing but forces of nature, magical energies able to be tapped by those who comprehend them. But the elves, revering all things in nature, had taken it a step further and constructed the shrine and other things. What they were doing, I think, was providing a way for Elementals somewhere else--and someday I would have to ask just where--to communicate with this land. And, as we had seen, to offer some of their magical energy. Although, I have to admit, I had rarely encountered good Elementals; Rubicant was probably the closest I had come before now, and he was ambiguous more than anything. On the other hand, I would never expect to find an evil Light Elemental; such a thing just would be unheard of in my mind, as the Elemental's own energies would tear it apart.

"The Elements?" Lord British repeated.

"Aye, a Light Elemental came to our aid," I explained. I ran a hand through my hair with a chuckle. "I didn't know they existed, actually..."

Jaana was listening with amazement. "So it wasn't the invoked Virtues?"

With a slight grimace I shook my head. "No, it wasn't."

Lord British turned to us. "Kianne, Andrella. Again, we thank you."

"Of course, anything," I responded brightly.

"We're just glad we could help!" Andrella chimed in.

I went on, "And anyway, thank Pearl. And Lord Erimani, for letting us go see her."

"And Shamino did save our lives." Andrella grinned and winked at the ranger.

"Aye, we owed him," I agreed with a laugh.

"We are even now," Shamino smiled.

"Now all we need to do is destroy that generator," I said, rubbing my hands together.

"And hopefully free my father," Andrella agreed.

"Your father?" Lord British repeated. "I thought..."

"It turns out, he may still be alive." Andrella's voice was wry. "And the daemons are using his powers..."

That gave me a thought. "What about your mother, I wonder...?"

"Jarred said he killed my mother. He admitted it to my face," Andrella pointed out. "He said my father was a murderer... Thinking about it, I think it meant because he killed a D'raj."

"And they said your father's suffering was legendary..." I murmured.

"They did mention that," Shamino agreed.

"It makes more sense now," I had to admit. Part of me was disturbed to learn that Andrella's father had been suffering, but a piece of me was hopeful that this meant it wasn't yet too late to safe him.

I shook my head. "And I can't believe the Guardian..."

"You mean VayViktus," Andrella smirked.

"The Guardian is VayViktus?" Shamino repeated. "I had suspected that..."

"Pearl had a lot of wisdom she shared with us," Andrella commented.

"I didn't realize... Well, I should have known." I scowled slightly, a bit disgusted with myself.

Jaana was examining Shamino, astounded to find that he had no scars or pain left. Shamino grinned at her. "Good as new," he said, stretching. "Thanks for your help, Jaana. But I should get back to the woods."

"Be careful," I said to him, not wanting to lose him after all of this.

He nodded. "I'll meet with you soon."

We bid him farewell, and after Shamino was gone, the rest of us prepared to go our separate ways. "It is almost dawn," Lord British pointed out, probably not missing the irony in that. "And the land will never know how close Shamino was to the end..."

"It was a flesh wound!" I teased with an innocent look, and the others laughed.

Back at the Keep, Andrella and I made plans to finish the shrine quests. We decided to pack supplies and take Kilmas with us on a journey around the world. The idea was that we would simply do all of the rest of the aboveground shrines in one trip. It would take us several days, and to save us the hassle of having to travel back to town each time, we would camp out. "Just like the old days, before Mark and Recall," I grinned.

So we packed, then slept, despite the odd hour. It was interesting scrounging together supplies, because neither of us had any gold left to buy anything, so we had to make do with what we had. Luckily, we possessed enough bedrolls and lanterns to go around. We added food and water (no ale), and whatever else we thought would come in handy.

Tomorrow, we will head over to the castle and pick up Kilmas, and be on our way...

---

[8/13/2004]

I sketched a map on a piece of parchment and drew a path. We were going to do the rest of the shrines in as much of a single run as possible. I circled Spirituality. Funny to see the shrine there on the map, when before it had been accessible only via a moongate. Well, on another Britannia, at least. Things were different here; just like the moongate of Britain.

Dupré came by and let us know that Lord British wanted a word with us. We were about on our way to the castle anyway, as we needed to pick up Kilmas. We visited Lord British in the library first.

I gave him Geoffrey's helmet first, and we briefly reminisced on the warrior. Finally Lord British turned to the topic at hand. "I just had a visit from Lord Erimani," he said, surprising me. I didn't know the elves left Dawn very often. "He wanted to thank you for the slaying of Maharba--of Abraham."

"Thank Shamino," I chuckled wryly. Andrella nodded in agreement.

"Lord Erimani rarely leaves Dawn, so this was a surprise," Lord British mused, echoing my thoughts. "And even more so was his renewed pledge."

"Pledge?" I repeated. I hadn't known of one.

"That the elves would aid Britannia in any way needed," Lord British explained. "And he wished to inform you that when the seal to the Daemon Chamber opens, the elves will march into battle with you against the daemons."

I blinked in surprise. An army behind us? Not only that, but an army of elves? I had participated in a few small armies in my time in RBW, but never on Britannia as the Avatar.

"I know the daemons were originally their enemies," I commented slowly. "I am grateful for any aid we receive."

"With Abraham defeated the elves no longer live in fear. They wish to help."

"We will need to coordinate this, then," I said thoughtfully. "Make sure we don't open the seal until all are ready."

The others nodded. "Perhaps we should arrange a meeting with Erimani to discuss this?"

I agreed. "I want to thank him properly anyway."

"The defeat of Abraham marks a new age for the elves," Lord British said. "They have many preparations to make for this transition."

"I have respect for them, but I know little of their ways," I commented.

"They seem very proud," Andrella grinned.

Lord British agreed. "Aye. We will see how this works out."

"It will be interesting," I chuckled.

Andrella dusted off her hands. "Well, we plan to camp out to finish the aboveground shrines. So I hope you don't mind us taking Kilmas off your hands for a while."

She snickered, but Lord British gave a patient smile. "He has been a pleasure having here."

"He has been behaving I hope?"

Lord British nodded.

As if to prove him wrong, a sudden scream came from downstairs just then. The voice was unmistakably Kilmas's.

Andrella and I turned immediately and ran down the hall, down the stairs, and to Kilmas's bedroom. Lord British followed us. We found his room a typical child's mess, with Kilmas standing dazedly in the middle.

There was no sign of any immediate danger, and no indication as to what Kilmas had been screaming about.

"What happened?" we asked him.

Kilmas answered readily enough, "I was checking out this wand, when all of a sudden, I felt my brain shrinking!"

This was a new one. "Shrinking?" I repeated.

"Yes!"

Kilmas thrust a wand toward us. I blinked when I realized it was enchanted with Feeblemind. "Kilmas..."

Lord British stood watching. "Is that not Nystul's wand?"

Kilmas looked down at his hand. "Oh, it sure is! How did it end up here?" He gave a nervous laugh and handed it to the king, who took it with a chuckle.

"That's Feeblemind. You don't use that on yourself," I snickered.

"What about this one here?" Andrella asked from across the room. Using her foot, she nudged a wand that was lying on the floor.

"That one is mine!" Kilmas insisted.

I picked it up. "I've never heard of Fire Bolt."

"I made it," Kilmas said proudly. "Or enchanted it, anyway."

"With what kind of spell?" I asked curiously.

"Stacked Fireball enchantments."

"That's impressive," Andrella commented.

"Well, be careful," Lord British spoke up. "I'll leave you then. Where is Nystul?" he asked Kilmas.

"He's at the shop buying me reagents."

I smacked my forehead.

Lord British didn't seem to mind. "Andrella, Kianne. We'll speak again soon."

We nodded and bid him farewell. Once the king was gone, Andrella shifted, afraid to walk much in the room for fear of stepping on something. "Okay, Kilmas, get this room cleaned up. We're going on a trip."

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"The shrines," I explained. "Remember?"

"Oh." Kilmas started gathering up things from the floor, sweeping them under the bed. Andrella chided him and told him to put them in his closet. I leaned down to help, and after a few minutes, he had the room basically in order. He spent a few more minutes deciding what to wear and bemoaning that things might get wet if it rained.

Finally we headed out, walking out into the courtyard to gate. Along the way, Kilmas happened to mention that Nystul, intrigued by the fact that Kilmas seemed to be losing years somehow, was studying how to cause the effect to happen on purpose. "We are trying to figure out how to make him younger," he said, "so he can go on a date with Andrella."

I laughed. "I'm amused."

"Well, he can forget it," Andrella grumbled. "I don't care how young he is. I'm not going on a date with Nystul and that's final!"

"Wow," Kilmas said, as if genuinely surprised by the response. "I better tell him that he doesn't have a chance. But I already told him... well, never mind."

"What did you tell him!?" Andrella demanded.

Kilmas seemed to wilt under her stare. "That he... had a chance...?" he tried, then hastened to add, "But I was joking! I just forgot to tell him I was joking!"

Andrella's face turned bright red. "YOU WHAT!?"

I sighed. "I think it's time for us to go now..."

We traveled to Trinsic and picked up our moonblades, and were officially on our way. I took us north to the Shrine of Sacrifice, since we had decided to do the mainland ones first, then hit the islands later. The trip was pretty typical of Kilmas, with him forgetting his sword half of the time, and trying to fight anything that moved the other half.

When we reached the shrine, Andrella and I stood on the stairs and together we meditated. We were both transported across the water to the platform of the ankh.

"Welcome, Avatar," the shrine said, and as usual went right to the point. "Tabil of Skara Brae walks a lonely path because of spirituality. Aid her to find the joy of the spirit."

Silently I thought about that. Because of? Or in spite of? Well, we would find out in time.

When we were finished and were returned to the mainland, I smiled at Kilmas. "Did you want to try?"

He stepped up to the stairs hesitantly. "Um. CAH."

"Wrong one," I grinned. "It's OM. Like a hum."

Kilmas repeated that and waited. The shrine spoke from where it stood. "Thou art lacking in Spirituality. Strive harder."

I gave a faint smile. He is striving.

"Did you hear that?" Kilmas demanded of us. "It said I am lacking."

"But keep striving," I smiled.

Kilmas stomped his foot. "I have a spirit!"

"It is your outlook," I explained. "In a way, it encompasses all of the others. Trying to understand it is itself part of the path."

"Why did Hawkwind want me to do this if I am not worthy of any of this?" Kilmas complained.

"Because you don't become worthy overnight," I chuckled. "If you were, you wouldn't need to do this."

Kilmas grumbled. "This is stupid."

"Your attitude is stupid," Andrella countered. "Have you ever thought that maybe you should change some things with your behavior? On a constant basis?"

"I did," he protested.

"Not for five minutes, Kilmas," Andrella said impatiently. "Forever. Being polite, courteous, helpful. Don't say every darn thing that comes to mind without thinking how it may hurt someone's feelings."

Kilmas shrugged. "Well, no matter what I do I make someone mad."

"That's because you are rude and have no considerations for anyone else."

Kilmas sighed. "So what does that have to do with not being worthy at these shrines?"

"It has everything to do with it," I responded. "That's what the Virtues are all about."

Andrella nodded. "Your behavior, what's in your heart, your mind, and your soul. That's what represents who you are."

"Who I am?"

"I think you need to get over yourself before you'll understand anything," Andrella said.

She hit the nail on the head, I think, but Kilmas didn't want to see it. They went back and forth for a little while longer; I stayed out of the conversation for the most part. "So why did Hawkwind send me here?" he demanded finally.

"We don't know why you're here," I responded honestly, "but it couldn't hurt you to learn."

"What am I supposed to do?"

I smiled. "You're doing it. Slowly."

He considered that. "Just walk around while the shrines degrade me? I hate this!"

"Then you need to shape up," Andrella pointed out.

I agreed. "Kilmas, only you can change your heart."

"We're trying to help you," Andrella said. "But you don't listen. And you don't try. And you certainly don't change."

"Or you listen for ten minutes, then seem to forget about it later," I chuckled.

Kilmas sighed.

"You have to change permanently," Andrella told him. "I know it sounds hard, but you'll be much happier."

That was true enough. The rest of us would be happier too, but I didn't mention that part.

Finally, Kilmas asked in a small voice, "Do you think I can do it?"

"Of course!" Andrella responded without hesitation.

I nodded in agreement. "You can, if you keep at it. You know how many days I wandered Britannia putting the puzzle together?" I chuckled.

"So who helped you?" Kilmas asked me.

"My companions." I smiled. "Like Dupré, and Iolo and Shamino."

Kilmas's eyes grew wide. "Those old guys!?"

I laughed. "Well, they weren't so old back then."

"Back when?"

"It was a while ago. Time passed differently for me where I was living."

"Time does not pass differently," Kilmas protested stubbornly. "Time is all the same unless you know the spells."

I tried to explain, "Oh, I'd spend a year or so at home, and come back here to find several years had passed. Once, it was 200 years. Time just went faster in Britannia. Or something."

Kilmas paused in a strange silence, as if running over that in his mind. Then he gulped and turned. "We better get going."

I blinked. "What?"

"It's nothing..."

"You don't sound like it's nothing," I pointed out.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Is this something in the Tome?" I guessed.

Kilmas sighed. "It's just... time passing different..."

I looked at him. "Is that significant?"

"That's what Jarred was using star mages for. To speed the core and fast-forward time."

Now I was confused. "What is this about the core? What core?"

Kilmas shrugged. "I heard my father talking with him."

"With Jarred?" Andrella asked, and he nodded.

"What is this core they are speeding?" I wanted to know. "And why speed it?"

"I don't know," Kilmas said. "But they can change time using star mages and the cores."

"Cores?" I repeated. "There's more than one?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. It just sounds like you had it done to you."

I scratched my head. "To my Britannia, you mean? It seemed normal to me, but then I had no way of knowing... If they are doing it here...but then, they did say they couldn't speed the core right now, didn't they?"

"Because of me and Andrella," Kilmas nodded. "Star mages can't be affected by time spells unless they cast them."

"I remember Nystul saying that..." I mused.

"Well, how are you being affected by reverse aging? Is that not the same?" Andrella wanted to know.

Kilmas blinked. "I don't know," he said finally. Clearly he hadn't thought about it. But none of us had any answers. Only theories.

The Shrine of Justice was next. Every time I go there, I am reminded of Guthnor, and not just because of his memorial there.

Once again, Andrella and I stood together in front of the shrine and mediated.

"Welcome, Avatar. Find the one who has eluded justice for far too long. The hook on his hand has killed many. Only when he is jailed will justice be served."

Oh ho. Hook. And I knew how we could easily apprehend him now. Whereas before it may have been quite a challenge, now we had the perfect answer.

We touched our moonblades to the ankh as usual, then stepped back for Kilmas to have a turn. "Did you want to meditate?" I asked him.

"Why bother?" he grumbled.

"What have you got to lose, really?" Andrella smiled.

"Pride?" he tried.

"That is a good thing to lose," I winked.

"Point taken," Kilmas sighed. He stepped up to the ankh. "BAH?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. "BEH."

The shrine's response to him wasn't totally unexpected, but it wasn't entirely bad either. "Seek justice in thine own life. Do not give up."

Kilmas threw up his hands. "I give up."

I shook my head. "Kilmas, the shrine just said not to give up!"

"There's still hope," Andrella agreed.

"Hope isn't a Virtue," Kilmas protested.

I laughed and was about to praise him for knowing that when Kilmas suddenly grabbed at his chest, clenching his robe in his hand. As we reached out quickly toward him, he stumbled forward, then toppled over.

Andrella caught him, sitting on the floor with Kilmas in her arms. "Kilmas! Kilmas!"

Groggily he opened his eyes. "What happened?"

"You passed out," Andrella said worriedly.

Unsteadily Kilmas sat up. "My heart...it hurt all of a sudden."

I looked at him in concern. "Should we get you to a healer?"

"I feel okay now... Just tired."

I was struck again by how much younger he looked. "Let's find a place to camp."

"I don't mean to be a drag," Kilmas protested, for once thinking of more than just himself.

Instead of answering, I commented, "I had a thought. There's an island out there." I pointed toward the water behind the shrine. "I bet nothing would bother us if we slept there." I winked.

Andrella pulled out the magic carpet instantly, and we piled aboard.

"I'm not making you stop, am I?" Kilmas wanted to know.

"Nah, it's getting late," I responded.

"It's fine," Andrella assured him.

Kilmas looked down and picked at the threads of the carpet. "I'm sorry."

Andrella and I exchanged glances, but I kept my voice light. "It's not your fault it's late."

"Right," Andrella agreed.

Kilmas went to sleep on the way, while we watched silently but worriedly. When we disembarked on the little island we'd found, the two of us explored it and found it favorable. "This will be a great little place to sleep. And it's fresh water." I waved my hand at the lake waters surrounding us. "We can refill our canteens."

We woke Kilmas up long enough to get him settled in his bedroll, which we positioned in between the two of us, with the campfire nearby. "I'm hungry," he said, but he fell asleep again before we could offer him any food.

Andrella and I sat on our bedrolls on either side of him, watching the flames of our little fire and gazing out at the night.

Up in the sky, the comet twinkled like a star.

---

[8/20/2004]

The next morning, I was surprised to discover Kilmas's hair had turned into a salt-and-pepper shade of black mixed with gray. I sat and smiled faintly as I watched him sleeping. "I was wondering what his natural hair color was," I murmured to Andrella.

Once everyone was awake, we packed up camp and prepared to board the carpet. Kilmas glanced at the sky and pointed. "Look, the comet looks like a moon. I guess because it's pointed right at us."

That wasn't something I wanted to think about.

We went to the Shrine of Compassion next. Flying on the carpet, we were able to take a much more direct route from the Shrine of Justice, flying over the water and avoiding what would have otherwise been a very roundabout route on land.

Andrella and I meditated.

"Welcome," the shrine said, and I was privately amused in the change in the greeting. It didn't say "Welcome, Avatar," as did all of the shrines. Just a more general, "Welcome."

"Compassion has always been your strongest Virtue, Avatar," the ankh went on, and I found myself considering that wryly. I remember when I had started with a purple ankh for Honor, but very quickly, I think, Compassion began to usurp that...

The shrine went on, "Your quest will be complete as you see fitting. Your Compassion will guide you."

Now that was a new one.

Andrella and I touched our swords to the ankh and stepped back, but I ran a hand through my hair. "I've never gotten a response like that before," I admitted.

Andrella turned to our companion. "Your turn, Kilmas."

"For what?" he countered. "Last time, meditating hurt me. Forget that."

I hadn't thought of it that way. "But your hair is regaining its color," I pointed out. "Haven't you noticed you're getting younger?"

"It's because of Hawkwind. And me."

"How so?" Andrella asked him.

"Hawkwind said I could change my own future."

"But maybe that is part of the reason why he sent you here," I pointed out. "Maybe this is the only way to regain your lost years."

Kilmas stretched lazily. "Nah, I think it's just that I am relaxing. And meditating does not relax me."

"It should be peaceful," I pointed out.

"It's stressful. 'You are not worthy...' Bleh. Like the shrines know anything about me."

"That's because you're trying too hard," Andrella said.

I looked at Kilmas seriously. "Is there someone you care about?"

"Sure, I care about Andrella. Hawkwind too."

I suggested, "Think about the people you care about, and why you care. While you meditate."

"I can do that without meditating," Kilmas pointed out. "So what's the point?"

I explained as best I could, "Meditation helps you to focus, and come to a greater understanding. And maybe you will see how the Virtues are connected. One leads to another. If you care about someone...wouldn't you sacrifice for them?"

Kilmas considered that. "I just have a bad feeling, you know?"

I let out a breath. "Kilmas. I realize something strange happened last time. But you're all right. And I think this is important."

Kilmas sighed.

"We'll be here for you," I reminded him.

He finally turned and walked up to the ankh grudgingly. "Moo," he said. He sounded like a cow.

I couldn't help but giggle, but I helped him with his pronunciation, and he slowly and hesitantly meditated.

"Your life is lacking in compassion. Strive to share your feelings with others."

Kilmas steamed. I padded his shoulder. Andrella said, "Kilmas, that's a hint."

But he wasn't listening. "Curse you!" he growled, and kicked at the shrine.

"Kilmas, stop," Andrella gasped, grabbing his arm. "Listen to me. It gave you a hint!"

He started to protest, but suddenly the color drained from his face and he stumbled, collapsing into our arms. "Kilmas?" I gasped, letting Andrella take him. She laid him gently on the ground, propping his head and shoulders on her knee.

Kilmas opened his eyes a moment later and gave a little grunt.

"Are you okay?" we asked him with concern.

"I...guess so," he murmured, pushing himself to his feet. He glared at the ankh, as if it was the cause of his problems.

"I think it's hard on your body for it to go in reverse," I suggested.

"I don't want to go to any more shrines," he grumbled.

"There are only two more," I smiled encouragingly.

"Can you just drop me off at the castle?" he asked. "Please?"

"You can't give up!" Andrella urged. "I don't blame you for wanting to give in. But you have to fight it. You can't give up Kilmas. You can't."

He listened to her without speaking, rubbing the back of his neck. "Those blasted shrines," he muttered finally.

"Are you still in pain?" I asked him.

Kilmas shrugged. "Not really."

"It's momentary, then. You can pull through."

Kilmas seemed about to respond, but at that moment he caught sight of his reflection in the oasis nearby. Trembling, he walked closer, gazing at the mirror-like surface of the tranquil water and fighting a tearful smile.

"I... I look like my father..."

I blinked in momentary surprise, looking at him again. He looked much younger, maybe sixty. And I guess he would resemble his father. Particularly now that he is coming more toward the same age.

Kilmas swallowed. "I wonder if he misses me."

"A normal father would, Kilmas," Andrella said quietly. "But I'm not sure about yours."

"You know," Kilmas said reflectively, "he used to make me cast spells until it hurt so bad that I would hurt for days."

"And you miss that?" Andrella asked in disbelief.

"Well, you care about me too, right?" he asked her. "And you want me to meditate even though it hurts? So maybe he cared too."

I had no idea how to respond. Andrella's face tightened. "He cared about your power. Caring about you as a person, I'm not so sure."

Kilmas sighed. "I just don't know why everything hurts. Hawkwind said my pain would end."

"We're trying to help you and Hawkwind mentioned the Virtues," Andrella pointed out.

"Well, Hawkwind knows everything, so he can't be wrong. I just wonder if I'm doing it right."

Andrella smiled slightly. "There's one way to find out."

"You'll get the hang of it," I agreed.

Kilmas finally turned away from the water. "Well, if Kianne can go on even being sick, I guess I have to."

I was surprised a little; the generator's drain has gotten so common I barely think about it anymore. I smiled at his observation, and we continued on our way.

We had only two shrines left, both on islands. We went next to Valor. "I like this shrine!" Andrella grinned as we approached it.

I winked at her. "Andrella, what is the mantra?"

She opened her mouth to respond, then stopped and thought about it. For a moment she was silent. Then suddenly she turned to me. "RA!"

I beamed. "There you go!"

We approached the shrine, and I smiled slightly at her. "This is your Virtue."

"Aye!" she agreed.

We positioned ourselves. "Let's do it."

Together we chanted the mantra and meditated.

"Welcome. The helmet of the valorous Saitor is a prize granted to one who challenges his might."

Interesting. We touched our swords to the glowing ankh, then stepped back and looked at Kilmas.

"You can do it," Andrella encouraged with a smile. "We'll stand close."

We coached him a little, urging him on. He stepped before the shrine finally and steeled himself. "Okay. I can do this." He nodded, as if to himself. "Ra."

"Strong and forceful, like you mean it," I smiled.

"RA!" Kilmas bellowed.

I smiled and did not further interrupt him. He chanted the mantra but seemed hesitant to actually close his eyes and meditate. We had to encourage him some more. "If you wish guidance from the shrines, you will need to meditate to hear them," I pointed out.

"But, the choice is ultimately yours, I suppose," Andrella admitted. "I would just hate to see you come this far and give up."

I winked suddenly. "Think of this as a test of Courage."

Kilmas took a deep breath and stood in front of the ankh more firmly. This time, after he chanted the mantra, he closed his eyes. But his back was stiff, as if he was bracing for someone to physically hit him.

"Your heart is the fiercest thing you must conquer," the shrine told him simply.

Reflecting back, I think that was probably more true than any of us knew.

Kilmas trembled and opened his eyes. We tried to comfort him, but suddenly he snatched up his mace and leaped at the shrine.

We cried out in surprise and lunged to grab him. Andrella dragged him backward, and I positioned myself between them and the ankh, holding out my hands to bar the way. "Kilmas, it was helping you. Did you listen? It's a clue."

Andrella grabbed his mace and pulled it out of his hands. He glared angrily, but didn't fight her. "Why do they insult me!?"

"Kilmas, think about it for a minute," she started, but he was barely listening. Suddenly he pulled away from her, pressing his fist into his chest.

"I...won't... let it do this..." he gasped, then fell over face first.

Once again we knelt down next to him. And once again he recovered quickly, sitting up groggily. He looked disoriented, but unharmed.

"Kilmas?" Andrella asked him when he didn't immediately speak.

He rubbed his arms, and as he did so, I saw corded muscle that I hadn't noticed before.

"I'm fine..." he murmured.

"Look at you," I gasped. "It's like your body is remaking itself..."

Kilmas blinked as he realized what I was getting at. He stood up and stared at himself. "Wow. I feel... I don't know. I feel great."

"No pain, no gain, right?" I chuckled.

"I must say I am very proud of you," Andrella smiled.

"How is this happening?" Kilmas asked in wonderment.

"I'm not sure why," Andrella said, "but the Virtues are strengthening you physically."

"They do that sometimes," I murmured quietly.

"But how? I failed every one."

"It's not to say that you have failed," Andrella said. "You just hadn't met certain requirements I suppose." She chuckled.

"Did this happen to you?" Kilmas asked me suddenly. "When you became the Avatar?"

"In a similar way," I tried to explain. "As I meditated at the shrines and gained new understanding, I would also feel physically stronger and faster."

"Am I becoming the Avatar?" he gasped.

We couldn't help it. We laughed. Kilmas looked affronted. "Well, maybe I am!"

I didn't want to discuss that, so instead, I said, "Well, my companions experienced the same thing. Not every time, but if we had experienced enough, grown enough, we became stronger."

"I think there is a great purpose for you here, Kilmas," Andrella contributed.

He considered that and rubbed at his chin. His beard was not only gone, but there was no growth either, we realized. It was as if he had never once grown a beard.

"Maybe I get hurt because I am so powerful in the Virtues?" he suggested.

This time I managed not to laugh. I put my arm on his shoulder. "I think maybe it is such a big change for you. To lose all those years, I mean."

It was a big change in other ways as well. But I didn't mention those.

The last shrine was Honesty. We did the usual here.

"Welcome," the ankh said. "The Gladdins family heirloom will unearth the honesty you seek."

More interesting. We touched our swords to the shrine, then stepped back for Kilmas. "One more," I grinned.

He was in much higher spirits now that he had gained such strength, but he still seemed nervous. "Honesty, huh?" He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. "That's easy. Okay, let's give it shot." He shifted his weight, stalling.

Andrella and I were still standing there holding our moonblades when both blades began emitting a steady glow in concert. All three of us blinked and surprise and looked at the moonblades.

Because we had done all of the aboveground shrines? But we had not yet completed the underground ones...

We didn't know the answer to that, so we returned our attention to Kilmas. "AHM," I reminded him, trying to urge him forward.

He was dragging his feet, but he finally went up to the shrine and meditated.

"Your life lacks honesty. Seek the truth in thyself."

Another appropriate response, but I wasn't sure whether Kilmas would understand that.

Kilmas opened his eyes slowly, trembling. "It said I lack honesty," he murmured, then his voice grew stronger. "Tell me why!"

"You're not always truthful to yourself," I pointed out. "Remember what we discussed at New Magincia?"

But he wasn't listening. Again, he tried to attack the shrine. Andrella grabbed his mace in midair and prevented the blow from landing. "Kilmas! Instead of getting angry at the shrines, maybe you should listen to what they say!"

"I never lied!" Kilmas cried, in what was perhaps the most ironic thing he's ever said. Stubbornly he clung to his mace, not allowing her to take it from him this time.

"Do you sometimes not tell things exactly the way they happened?" Andrella prodded. "You need to calm down..."

"Calm down?" he repeated indignantly. "My last shrine and I get this!? When did I lie!?"

I pondered whether it would be helpful to think of some examples.

Andrella and Kilmas fought over his mace, each one trying to wrench it from the grasp of the other. "Listen to me," she huffed. "Violence will get you nowhere. Trashing a shrine because you didn't like what it said is not going to teach you anything!"

"But...I don't know what I did wrong..."

She patted his shoulder with one hand. "It's not that you were doing anything wrong..." Andrella trailed off and turned her head. "Kianne, explain to him what the Virtues do."

It's funny, but it's not something I am used to describing to other people. I took a brief moment to gather my thoughts, then began.

"The Virtues relate to your inner self, to your thoughts and emotions. They are about bettering yourself as a way of bettering the world around you. Did you notice the shrine mentioned being truthful in your life?"

"You heard it?" he asked, mortified.

I nodded my head. "You have to be honest with yourself first, Kilmas. That's where it has to start."

Kilmas finally relaxed his grip, lowering his arms. "I don't understand... I just don't get it..."

"You have ambition," I pointed out. "You want to be faster, stronger, a better fighter. But if you pretend you are before you get there, you'll stop trying."

Kilmas blinked.

"And then you'll never reach the goal, if you stop working toward it. But how do you know where your goal is if you don't know where you are? Everything has to be taken one step at a time."

"That makes sense..." Kilmas said slowly. "One step at a time. Hawkwind said that."

I was faintly amused that I was unknowingly echoing the Time Lord. "You're taking steps now," I pointed out.

"And I don't feel hurt," he realized suddenly, rubbing his chest as if startled.

"Great!" Andrella grinned.

Kilmas glanced back at the shrine and gave it a sheepish smile, as if silently apologizing.

"You can come back, you know, if you want," I commented quietly.

"I'm not aching to come back," he chuckled. "I did what Hawkwind wanted. So he is probably happy. Too bad we can't tell him."

We'd mentioned to Kilmas that the hourglass had been broken. He hadn't been happy, that was for sure.

"But," he added musingly, "I feel different. Just kind of...I don't know, like I know more about myself now." He lifted his head. "Does that make sense?"

We nodded. "Welcome to the journey of life," I chuckled wryly.

Kilmas grinned at us. Then he collapsed.

Andrella and I, startled, dropped down beside him. My worry and concern became mingled with bafflement, and I found myself staring at him in confusion. When had his hair turned fully black? There wasn't a trace of gray at all. And his face...

Kilmas blinked awake and sat up. "What the...?"

"Kilmas! You look so different," Andrella marveled. "Come see. There is some water over here."

She tugged him over to the water's edge, and he stared down at the reflected face of a teenager. He didn't look quite 11--more like 16--but he was definitely young again.

"I look like...me," Kilmas said finally.

I smiled. "That's right. You're you. Not your father, but you."

"Nystul won't know who you are!" Andrella laughed.

We started for the shore, looking for a place to unroll the magic carpet. "I was thinking of getting some nicer clothes," Kilmas mused. "Some that actually fit."

"Andrella can help you with that," I winked.

"Aye," she grinned. "Shopping!"

Kilmas laughed.

When we returned to the Keep, Kilmas joined the Knights of Valance. We went shopping and got him new clothes, then Sophie outfitted him with weapons and armor. The end result looked a little bit like Dupré to me, in his younger years, what with the cape and tunic and the war hammer.

"I want to start at the bottom," Kilmas told Andrella. "I don't want the knights to think I am favored."

She nodded in approval. "You want to prove your worth. I know you will."

"Do I get to bunk with the knights?" he asked. "I feel like I need a fresh start, like a new guy."

"You look like a new person as well," I smiled.

Andrella dusted her hands. "Now, you will need to fill out this application...in triplicate."

I giggled, but Kilmas nodded seriously. "As you wish."

"I was joking, Kilmas!" she laughed. "You know...joke?"

"Heh," Kilmas chuckled.

We went to the guard post for the paperwork, where Andrella saw that Aisis had come and filled out an application to join the Knights as well. I was happy to hear that.

Andrella showed Kilmas around and got him oriented. When she was done, he remained behind with the knights in the barracks, and she and I returned to the keep.

"Hard to believe," I chuckled with a shake of my head.

Andrella smiled at me. "Thank you...for helping with Kilmas."

I winked. "Hey, it wasn't just me!"

---

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